Thursday, June 23, 2016

The great take over to peace from my pop

Dear diary,

the truth is working at my dad's was a very valuable lesson that i will never forget is that i had to do this in order to have a good relationship with my parents, espcially with my dad.

dad and i never really got along.  it was all becos of the past, becos my dad has a bad temper.  Always treated my mom with disrespect and they fight alot and my dad yells alot with massive temper.  It was crazy at times .... so......taking over the restaurant was a choice i had to make.  i could of went back to singapore to work as a t.v. director or chose to work beside my dad in the kitchen and learn how to cook (which i know nothing about).  it was a hard choice, i mean i could of work in Singapore and enjoy the easy life... but in the end i chose the kitchen instead hoping to have a better relationship with my dad since i don't want to regret it one day not having peace with him.

working with him was kind of fuck up as like in hells kitchen but worse.  its not that im all good and perfect either, and i do have that bad temper too... kind of crazy at times.  so working together with knifes and butcher knifes is kind of fucked up,  even though we never got to the point of using... it was still fuck up becos we almost use our fists... he wanted to challegnge to a fight, but i always decline becos i told him, i will beat him easily and that would not be fair...

the reason being... everytime when i see something not right... i want to do something about it and stand up for it to make it right.... like my dad using tofu or any ingredient that was going bad with fucking stinks, i would say something... because he wanted to save money, which IS not the way to go in a restaurant.  And when i bring this up with my dad, he fucking goes nuts and gets all pisss off and he would just say shit like "yeah, you think you know everything"  meaning i went to college etc.  but fuck, i just don't want our customers to get sick and not to get sue and its just not right and people won't come back to our restaurant again... so everytime we fight is always about the food and how it was serve and how it was cook etc. thats why we always fight, becos that happens all the time!  Bad stinking food being serve to someone PAYING for our food and service.  SIGH!  i mean he did have a lot of customers in 10 years ago.

my dad's a very good cook, expect that he was so out of it.  I only came to realize that when i had to manage the restaurat all by myself. he was so out of it meaning he was tried... since working nonstop for almost 25 years or so in the same kitchen doing the same thing everyday and not going on any vacations, he was totally burned out! really fucking burned out!!! i would too, if i was in his position.  But still, he didn't have the right to serve stinking lousy food to our customers who's paying their hard earn money for rotten crappy food! it was unhealthy and not fresh... and he did drove his customers away.

So being me, trying my best to do the best... i got so depress working with him becos he just wouldn't listen to reason and make changes.  it was hard, i almost wanted to quit! but i just keep going, kept praying  to God and always getting the prayers answered.  so to prepare myself to take over the joint... i had to learn how to cook from the internet.  how to wok, how much salt to add, how to not slack with the ingredients... i think it took me about two years to really truely understand what i was doing right and wrong. since my dad didn't really want to give all his "secret' recipes, and not really teaching the exact way to cook... i  had to sweet talk by asking about his past...i.e. making conversations... and  dig the recipe out of him when he's in a good mood.   but as we work closely together and got to understand each other more and more, his heart soften and my dad became nicer and NICER... it was a fucking big relief.

so after a year and a half working and trainging with dad, he finally trust me and let me handle the whole kitchen on my own.  i was nervous at first, becos i really don't want to fuck it up. and plus i have to deal with the prep cook, cooks, and dish washer that listen to my dad more than me... but then again the business was mediocre when i took over...  so all i had to do was fellow the recipe and make some adjustments and to keep thing nice and fresh, and  that should be able to bring back some old customers.  and it did!

during this time, my dad finally went on his first vacation back to Taiwan, he stay there for 3 months... he was so skinny  from over worked and not relaxing before  his trip....and after his trip to Taiwan, he came back quite fat with a beer belly of some sort. And he smile with a real smile, and that was a fucking joy to see.  because he always had a grouchy face and for the first time, he ask me how i was and shit like a father should do.  it was fucking unusual for me, since he doesn't care for my birthday, christmas, etc. nothing.  so it was a big change!!~!

again... after working in the kitchen for 4 years i only realize that my dad was a really hard working person, expect that he was so burned out with life from work and he lost himself.  he work so we can go to college, he work so he can provide food on the table etc. you know the whole deal with being a  dad, a parent...And taking over the restaurtant only made me understand why he was such a grouchy man from being lock in the kitchen over grease and heat everyday and to deal with the kitchen helpers is not a easy job... so i forgive and i'm glad that i went through this whole learning experience... if i just left and work in Singapore, we would never have that peace.. now i will never regret it!

Monday, June 13, 2016

All around the world!

dear diary,

its again another crazy day on earth.  People just loves to control people.  we humans just LOVES to control each other, so those who can't control the situation, they go all violent on it!

Its been like that for so long, becos we are all little Children misbehaving on our own.  those who are much more mature make laws to prevent such violent when those crazy thinkers who wants total control goes violent by shooting every Gay/Homosexuals to death.. total 50 of them.  This is HATE, with terror and violence.  this mother fucker is a coward!

Being a christian and all i always hated at church, when someone makes an unloving remark about homosexuals, i get fucking piss and offended, because i know quite a few gays from working in the television industry.  people are more open in the television industry, i don't know why.... but pretty much everyone gay is very open with their feminine side. Which is great, is like an expression of who they are.  we're all humans for fuck sakes... why should we judge gays?  they're humans too, what the fuck?  Is like racist and shit!


i still think... why we are here in this world... is to learn how to love one another!  If we all know how to love each other and be creative and just focus on love and helping and improving and shit like that... we be enjoying life with peace man!

If "religious folks from different REligious organizations can have an open mind and LOVE for God's sake... and influence and have inner loving peace and stop being so fucking high up with reigiousocity... and stop fucking judge everything that is "bad or NOT right...." and have an opened minded and don't be like :     

"i'm from blah blah blah religous group... i know what is wrong and right!... all you people that DON:T believe  in my religion are SOOOOO  going to hell mother fuckers!...

but see, none of us have seen the actual GOD...................  hahaha... so all religion is all base of GOOD faith.  If we practice on loving and not being religious with rules and regulations... IF we just love. and stop forcing people to feel they are wrong and guilty for beliving in the "wrong" religion...  and just share if you have the chance to..  life is about learning from each other.  like i really love to get to know all the culture in this world.  if we just learn to love and accept each other's way of eating and adapt to some of the ways... fuck man... you don't know what the heck food we can come up with.... its like now, people are beginning to understand about internationalizm.... becos of the internet like YOUTUBE.

culture is awesome.  don't be relgious, believe in your "GOD" and lets all just wait till the day we die and see the one true God and laugh about all this nonsense on earth... so silly of us human beings being so evil to one another.




with this shooting of 50 males targeted because it is a Gay nightclub.  It is a racist hate crime.


Saturday, June 11, 2016

LIfe in the kitchen... training days!

dear diary,

its been 4 years working at my dad's restaurant.  it was one big ride and adventure.  i must say, it was pretty fuck up at times becos of lack of communication and lack of team work.  it was a frustrating time for me to take over a restaurant which i didn't really have a big interest for.  I mean i'm glad that i went through it, but fuck people really can be so old fashion and afraid of change for the better that i became an asshole in front of them.

Why i did come an asshole was because the people i worked with really was bullshit.  but i'm glad we sold it after i was there for 4 years to our partner.

i mean i don't mind the job even though i sometimes did dreaded going to work, since i have to wake up at 7 am and get to work to prepare everything without a real break (maybe 30 mins.)  and go home around 8:30pm.  6 days a week and on mondays(which is my day off), i still have to go to the supermarket to stock up whatever is gone.

It was dreadful at times not becos of the job, but becos of the people i have to work with in the kitchen.  Its like fuck... these old man, they really bully me when i'm the manager of the kitchen.  if i ask them polietly to finish up all the prepping for the day, they would puposely prep it all slowly until we get busy and have no time to prep it.  it always happens, and if i be firm with them... not yelling yet, they become assholish and starts putting metal wires on the food.. Good thing i caught them... it was hell!

So dealing with people even if you have the most respect and love for them, they just becomes jerks!  And these guys are all 10 to 20 years older than me.  I always felt like crying because i want to fucking yell at them.  But its like so hard to hire good kitchen workers, so they take advantage of me becos of that.  they know that if i fire them then i have to cook and i'll have to cook everything on my own.

overall the work was easy after you get use to it, since is about the same everyday and everyweek.  What was pulling me down was their attitude and their own fashion thinking and their cooking could of been wayyyyy better if they fellow exactly the way i want to do it.  But no everyone is like a bully to me!

So everyday to keep my self sane, i put on music from my ipod.  since the main cook is from HOng Kong, i put 50 songs from Canton pop 1980-1990s... and for the Filipino prep guy, i put in 50 Filipino songs, mostly oldies but goodies... and for the Taiwan cook i put in 80s mellow Taiwan pop like Teresa Tang and oldies like that.  but for me i put a mix of jazz, pop, new wave, classical, world, etc for international enjoyment!  Glad that earth is fill with different cultures!!!!!!